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How to Manage Anxiety

Updated: Aug 22

Managing anxiety starts with understanding what it is....


We’ve evolved to feel anxious as part of our natural fear response system, which is essential for keeping us safe. So, anxiety is actually our friend, not a malfunction or illness.


This fear response was designed to handle the kinds of threats our ancestors faced, like being attacked by wild animals. Unfortunately, this ancient system hasn’t been updated, so it can’t always tell the difference between those physical threats and modern stressors like work deadlines or public speaking.


When our brains think we’re in danger, even if we’re actually safe, they trigger a series of biological responses. The autonomic nervous system (ANS), which controls things like heart rate and breathing without us even thinking about it, kicks into gear, activating our fight-or-flight response. This response interrupts the usual rhythm of our bodies, and we become dysregulated and feel physically out of sorts.


Our bodies prepare to escape danger, which can cause some alarming physical effects. For example,


  • We lose our peripheral vision so that we can be really good at judging the distance from the threat.

  • Blood rushes away from our digestive system in favour of the major muscles of the body, so we can be mobilised to escape - this can leave us with the feeling of restless agitated legs, butterflies and discomfort in our stomach.

  • Our heart and breathing rates both increase, helping us to escape but also leaving us feeling short of breath and shaky.

  • As a consequence of our bodies response, we can also experience headaches, nausea and the need to go to the toilet; as well as dry mouth and sweaty palms. 



These physical effects are meant to prompt us to take action. But when we feel anxious and don’t act, the anxiety continues to build, making us feel even more uncomfortable.


It is surprising how compromised our higher/front brain function is when we are dysregulated. The creative higher thinking, frontal cortex reduces its functioning by more than two thirds. See the diagram below, the darker area shows how much of the brain can be accessed in regulated or dysregulated states. 



(Perry, B.D. and Winfrey, O. (2021) What happened to you?: Conversations on trauma, resilience, and healing. New York, NY: Macmillan Audio. )


Our survival instincts take over, and the part of our brain responsible for rational thinking shuts down. In a dysregulated state, our ability to think clearly is greatly reduced. For example, our functional IQ drops significantly depending on how anxious we are:


  • Calm state: IQ = 100-120

  • Alert state: IQ = 90-110

  • Alarmed state: IQ = 80-100

  • Fearful state: IQ = 70-90

  • Terror state: IQ = 60-80


(Perry, B.D. and Winfrey, O. (2021) What happened to you?: Conversations on trauma, resilience, and healing. New York, NY: Macmillan Audio. )


Living with constant anxiety can seriously impact our performance at work or school. When we're stuck in fight-or-flight mode for extended periods, it drains our energy, leaving us exhausted and unmotivated. We may find ourselves working hard but feeling like we're not making any progress.


When people feel anxious, they often try to suppress or ignore it, which usually makes things worse. Instead of battling anxiety, it’s healthier to be grateful for it and curious about what it’s trying to tell us. If we listen carefully and take action to make ourselves feel safe, anxiety will likely start to calm down. Therapy can help you identify and understand your anxiety and figure out how best to respond.


Humans have always found safety in numbers; being part of a community helps us feel secure. Loneliness, isolation, or exclusion can trigger anxiety because they threaten our sense of safety. Being around a calm person, like a therapist, can help regulate your nervous system.


Sometimes we can feel anxious and unsafe even when we are not under any threat. This false alarm is a product of our back brain which bases its assessment of threat on old data when we were unsafe in the past. This inability to assess threat in the present can be a consequence of trauma. If you have suffered trauma in your life, anxiety is a perfectly reasonable response. It can happen that after trauma, our anxiety responses become more frequent and we can become hypervigilent. Our brains become used to walking this well trodden path and anxiety becomes our 'go to' response to many situations. In this case, we still need to look at the anxiety and try to understand what it is telling us. " Anxiety with no specific, immediate cause , therefore, is still a signal to action- to deal with the root cause. " In therapy we can use a number of techniques to help you to deal with the root cause of your anxiety. 


Focusing on the present moment and staying grounded helps counteract anxiety by engaging the more rational part of your brain. As a therapist, I can guide you through grounding and mindfulness exercises to help regulate your brain and body during anxious times.


Here’s a summary of how to deal with anxiety:

  • Acknowledge that you’re anxious.

  • Understand that anxiety is signalling you don’t feel safe.

  • Pause and take a few deep breaths to calm your nervous system—short breath in through the nose, long breath out through the mouth.

  • Remind yourself to engage your rational brain—focus on the present.

  • Assess the situation using your rational brain.

  • Choose your actions based on rational thinking, not anxiety-driven impulses.


Avoidance: When an activity, person, or place makes us feel anxious, it might seem logical to avoid it in the future. For instance, Sarah had a strong fear of driving on motorways, so she stopped doing it to avoid feeling anxious. However, this avoidance signaled to her brain that driving on motorways was dangerous, leading to increased anxiety. Eventually, she began feeling anxious about driving on dual carriageways as well and avoided them too. As a result, her anxiety around driving grew instead of diminishing.

What can we learn from Sarah's experience? As difficult as it may be, we need to confront low-level anxieties before they escalate and understand the long-term consequences of avoidance.

Taking care of your body can help reduce anxiety:


  • Get plenty of sleep - less than six hours makes your brain’s danger detection more reactive.

  • Eat well - processed foods can increase anxiety.

  • Reduce caffeine - too much can raise your anxiety baseline.

  • Limit alcohol and drugs - while they may seem to reduce anxiety in the short term, they increase it over time.

  • Minimize screen time - our brains aren’t built for constant stimulation from social media and apps.

  • Spend time in nature - being outdoors is calming and helps regulate your mood.

  • Enjoy walking - The regular pace of walking out in nature is especially good for regulating the body and brain.

(Spring, C. (2024) ‘Six Steps to Managing anxiety’, carolynspring.com, 28 February. Available at: https://www.carolynspring.com/blog/six-steps-to-managing-anxiety/ (Accessed: 01 March 2024). )


As a qualified and experienced Counsellor I can help you to work through your anxiety getting to the root cause, I can help you to confront rather than avoid dealing with your anxious feelings as well as making lifestyle changes that will help to lower your baseline of anxiety. Book in for a free first session se we can start your journey towards a calmer happier life.






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